1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar
by Dolphinfootballover95
Summary: Let's get real: Jasmine could have refused Jafar in a lot of other ways instead of dumping the wine on his face. Check it out if you wanna see how Jasmine could have handled the situation.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **_I got kind of board one night and went on a long thought about how Jasmine could have turned down Jafar's marriage proposol with funnier and more effective ways. Enjoy :). Btw idk if i can reach 1001 but i'll try!_

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

**_Way 1:_**

Jasmine: Umm…How do I put this lightly? NO!


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:** Oh Btw I don't own Aladdin or any of its characters. Damn you Walt!_

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

_**Way2:**_

**Jasmine:** I mean really? You're like how old and I'm like how young?


	3. Chapter 3

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

_**Way 3:**_

**Jasmine**: Listen Jafar, let's take a second and slow down. I mean this all so sudden—we haven't even had our first date! Did you even ask my father for permission? And maybe we should take step back and think about this. Marriage is a pretty big commitment and you can't walk into it blindly—I don't even know you're birthday. So my answer is a defiant _maybe_.


	4. Chapter 4

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

_**Way 4:**_

**Jasmine**: Oh helllll nah!


	5. Chapter 5

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

_**Way 5:**_

**Jasmine**: Ewwwww, your breath smells like parrot! ...Oh yes about the marriage: No—just no.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N:**_ If you haven't realized by now most of these are one-liners so don't expect a lot of writing each chapter. :)

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

_**Way 6**_:

**Jasmine**: You sent the love of my life to his death about three times now, you took over my kingdom and gave it tacky crimson colors, and most of all you ruined my perfect hair! The Answer is no!


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: **I'm taking a suggestion and posting more than one way each chapter. Enjoy :) (oh and sorry if some sound kind of alike)_

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

_**Way 7**_:

Jasmine: I would love to, only the problem is you're an asshole and I'm in love with someone else…Sorry!

_**Way 8**_:

Jasmine: I'm too lazy can ya give me a rain check?

Jafar: We are surrounded by desert; it rains like two times a year

Jasmine: Then we'll just have to wait awhile

_**Way 9**_:

Jasmine: Well you certainly know how to impress a gal

Jafar: (Smirks and gleams and acts the egoistical asshole he is)

Jasmine: I mean you've attempted to kill my soul mate about three times, you betrayed my father, you took over our kingdom and made it a living hell, you've enslaved me and the sultan, and we all know you stole the cookie from the cookie jar. So…NO!


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Just hoping you guys get the reference at the end of way 12 :)**_

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

_**Way 10:**_

Jasmine: See this wine and see your face. I think they'd make better company (splatters wine on Jafar's face). Oh and down there is your crotch and I think it would like to make better acutance with my knee (hits his balls). Lesson learned, never mess with a princess

_**Way 11:**_

Jasmine: Why?

Jafar: For all the reasons I just stated, and more (winks).

Jasmine: Oh, you mean sex don't ya? Then no, that was the real deal breaker.

_**Way 12:**_

Jasmine: Do I look easy to you?

Jafar: (Baffled stare)

Jasmine: You think you can just waltz right in here, take over my palace, then expect me to just fall into your arms? I don't think so! You need to impress me before I even consider you.

Jafar: Okay, I'm the ruler of Agrabah, I'm the most powerful sorcerer in the world, and I have a lot of money.

Jasmine: Yeah, if I was a gold-digger that would impress me. No, you better shape up cause I need a man and my heart is set on Aladdin.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Sorry for not posting for a little while and the fact that these are kind of short. Again these are just silly one-liners mostly, so don't be upset if they sound stupid. **_

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

Way 13:

Jasmine: Read my lips N-O.

Way 14:

Jasmine: Gotta think about it. Ask me again around NEVER!

Way 15:

Jasmine: Release my father, return my kingdom back to normal, bring Aladdin back, and…die! Then I'll consider it.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Sorry thsese are coming s_poradically, like most of my work. Enjoy :) _**_

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

Way 16:

Jasmine: Hehehe, you're funny—Wait you're serious? Well this is strange…No…would be my answer.

Way 17:

Jasmine: This is pretty awkward (is really hestitant and tense)…Could we just be friends?

Way 18:

Jasmine: I thought you were gay?


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Thanks to all the readers. I'm happy you enjoyed #18 as much as I did :) Hope you like this!**_

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

Way 19:

Jasmine: Ya know let's just keep this master and slave relationship the way it is, alright?

Way 20:

Jasmine: Well there is a slight problem: I hate the core of your being. So I guess the answer would have to be no.

Way 21:

Jasmine: I'm sorry but no. It's not you, it's—actually yes it is you.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Sorry it's been long. My computer wasn' working for awhile. I just want to remind everyone that these are short and sweet; I'm not trying to go ino grave detail. Basically take them as they are :) Thanks! And thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed!**_

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

Way 22:

Jasmine: Ouch marriage. You haven't even taken me out for dinner yet.

Way 23:

Jasmine: I guess the problem is I'm in love with Aladdin…So I don't see how it would really work out.

Way 24:

Jasmine: You're really funny. That's a great joke.

Jafar: This is no joke princess.

Jasmine: Yikes, No! Absolutely not!


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: Hi, haven't seen ya guys for a few months. I recently was reading a few new Aladdin fanfics and was getting angry at the total lack of feminism (cause honestly this whole prisoner/stockholm syndrome can only do so much). I'm not saying all the girls need to be head-strong, but not all women cower in fear cause a guy threatens their life (Okay I might, but I'm not a fictional character). All I'm sayin' is add some variety.I could go on about this subject more, but I don't wanna bore you. I'm gonna post more of these so don't fear. You all rock...and roll (okay I'm not that funny). :)**_

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

Way 25:

Jasmine: I would, but I despise the color red and hate snakes. With you I can see that being a potential problem.

Way 26:

Jasmine: Oh—uh…Uh…Uh… I'm lesbian! Yeah that's it! I like girls, sorry.

Way 27:

Jasmine: Hmmm, let me think long and hard about this—NO!


	14. Chapter 14

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

Way 28:

Jasmine: I think power is getting a just tiny bit to your head. Remember, I'm Jasmine and you're Jafar. We hate each other. We both wanna kill each other. Let's not forget these facts.

Way 29:

Jasmine: If only I had a dime for every time someone asked me that question…I would be richer.

Way 30:

Jasmine: Oh my you shouldn't have…Really, you should have never asked.


	15. Chapter 15

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

Way 31:

Jasmine: You just spat apple in my face. If you really think that's how you charm a woman then you are dead wrong my friend.

Way 32:

Jasmine: Is this a trick question?

Way 33:

Jasmine: (Silent)

Jafar: Well what is it?

Jasmine: I've been taught if I have nothing nice to say to not say anything at all.


	16. Chapter 16

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

Way 34:

Jasmine: But that would require me actually finding you a descent person, which I don't. In fact I find you a shit human being who should live in the deep roots of Hell. So no.

Way 35:

Jasmine: Not only is this creepy, it's just plain wrong!

Way 36:

Jasmine: I'll be queen, but not by your side.


	17. Chapter 17

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

Way 37:

Jasmine: I don't think I'm ready.

Way 38:

Jasmine: What do you expect me to say?

Jafar: Uh, yes?

Jasmine: See, I would say no. We're obviously not compatible. The marriage would never work out.

Way 39:

Jasmine: I want you…

Jafar: (Smirks and ya know…thinks of perverted things)

Jasmine: To leave me alone and never ask that again


	18. Chapter 18

1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar

Way 40:

Jasmine: Yes…Kidding! Gotcha!

Way 41:

Jasmine: I think you're being a little bit too forward.

Way 42:

Jasmine: I mean really? Really? You think I would actually say yes to you? Just stop dreaming.


	19. Chapter 19

**1001 Ways to Refuse Jafar**

**Way 43**:

Jasmine: Money and power of the cosmos doesn't really attract me.

Jafar: You could be queen though,_ my queen_

Jasmine: While that's a nice offer, I'm going to have to pass—But I hope we could still have a strictly enemy relationship

**Way 44:**

Jasmine: Okay, but there are going to have to be a couple of ground rules

Jafar: Like what?

Jasmine: Don't touch me, don't look at me, don't order me around, and above all no sex

Jafar: No! You will listen to me

Jasmine: Well I was going to say "yes" but not with that attitude

**Way 45:**

Jasmine: No, but don't worry Jafar there are plenty of other fish in the sea. They may not be the most attractive fish, but they are fish!


End file.
